Drove to Macon today and back just to see a friend and have dinner, 1.3 hours one way, i guess that's my out of the blues thing for this week. LOL... got back at 1 something and submitted my russian hw late. The printers not working and the library is closed so i couldn't send one of the parts ahaha doing it tomorrow. It's memorial day weekend tomorrow I ll be working and doing homework... fun fun fun...
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The first week of the semester just finished, and I woke up in the morning, 6 to send Wen Eu to the airport, it feels like I have my a$$ handed to me already right now. I lost my thumbdrive too. Sigh... i don't want to spend more money on buying thumbdrives, i have already lost it once.
Anyways, gotta look forward...
As for bands, in tribute to new artistes, i will post a new band every day till the day I finally put my album up for downloads and the band for today is My Arcadia. Enjoy!
Finally got back into some sort of exercise, did 1 km in 35 minutes. The training for the half-marathon apparently did something to me physically although I did not manage to get ready for it but I managed to knock off like maybe 15 minutes. Also, without feeling much of anything afterwards besides my ears feeling like they have been stuffed with cotton candy. Now I have feeling I won't be eating cotton candy for quite sometime after visualizing that.
Still torn between what research to do. I want to get it resolved soon.
For many there is a tendency to label anything from ideas to people. Scientists say it’s a way we automate the decision-making process into somewhat a more efficient manner; to recognize friend from foe. This is not the reason I am writing this. My attempt is purely to capture what brings happiness to me. I got inspired after watching “Into The Wild”. A story where this young man with a promising future he decides to donate his college fund to the needy and burns all his money after leaving everything in his life behind. He was running from a lot of things, mostly just society’s lies and hypocrisies that manifested its’ self mostly in his parents 's relationship. But the thing main that kept him going wasn’t fear but just the core of the human soul that lives on new experiences. I could go on and explain to you what happened in the movie but I think it’s best you watch it yourself. I think his end summarized the message that he learned from his journey. Throughout the movie he seemed to believe that happiness is not tied to just your relationships with other people. In his last moments, in Alaska out in the wild in a “magic” bus, he differs with a sentence written in probably one of his Jack London books. “Happiness is only real when it is shared”. He died from eating a poisonous plant. This is a true story, Chris McCandless set out to find what he was looking for I think he did find it. Sometimes, after watching some movies I feel like my footing on some issues have been challenge and like Chris said: the need to feel strong is sometimes more important than to actually be strong, to measure himself/herself at least once.
So what exactly is happiness to you? Is it your career? Is it money? Is it even tangible? I don’t know. If you want a definitive answer, that is mine.
I do feel happy making other people happy. Even strangers, one of the reasons why I like playing music, not only am I making myself happy but maybe if I do it right I can help some other people find what I feel in the music I play. I try to do this in a more material world, it is a lot harder, but I do feel some content in doing so but this doesn’t feel like I have put my finger down in the right place.
Could it be being with my loved ones? This is true. I’d love to occasionally spend time with them whenever I want to. Just knowing they are doing well, means a lot I am sure many of you understand this. This also only seems like one half of the picture. So what is the other half? I feel lost but there is this side of me that reeks of excitement to thought of exploring the unknown. Another thing I know for sure I share the excitement of taking things apart not necessarily putting them back together after that even as a child just to understand the inner workings of things for the sole purpose of fulfilling my curiosity; very much like hunger.
Living beings have desires or even sometimes just need to have desires; I guess when you fulfill those desires you will be happy. Conflict of needs and desires often cause a lot of gray areas. “Boredom: the desire for desires.” Leo Tolstoy. Find it and grab it, if you believe in God, like I do. I think God is in everything you do. So do what you feel is right. I will understand.
My actions; I realized, me missing somebody is actually an act of happiness. Just being grateful to have known you or for you have made an impact in my life that I have been a better person after words. I miss a lot of people very often. Sometimes the people I have just met, some more deeply and more abstract in many layers but I know this it’s my way of saying I’m glad to know you and I wish you well. Maybe someday I d get the chance to share the happiness in your life.
“A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.” – Jack London
Thank you for the charity.
“The proper function of man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them. I shall use my time.” – Jack London
