Making Decisions

It's  a new semester again, and I have a degree. Doesn't really feel very comforting but i guess it's just cause i m thinking of jobs. It's back to Grad School for me. I m a little bit nervous, a little bit excited. Not too much emotion, not surprise given the fact, my head is here my heart isn't. Anyways, this post wasn't really supposed to be a sad post but somewhat a good reflective one.

The reality is that the same crossroads I thought I had worked out when i was 21 is back to challenge the workings of my mind. Ironic, cause back then i thought those were gonna be one of the hardest decisions to make but now i can clearly see the decisions i make and the actions i take are only gonna get harder, as the stakes get bigger.

Yesterday, I was talking to a friend that was a friend of mind through strange circumstances, through well through some of my worse decisions. I guess sometimes there is a clear silver lining even when you mess up. Even more so, after what she managed to make me see and understand a fight within me. I always knew i wasn't alone but I never really had another honest perspective, she shared her experience for my understanding. Kudos to her for that. Let's just say that what i figured out was that, sometimes we are all afraid of making decisions, especially when it comes to big ones,and when in twos we might not budge trying to be rational all the time and trying to protect our interests are logically. The thing is happiness isn't very logical, a lot of times we have a lot of "what-if"s, some in form of regret others in form of reinforcing retrospect. You have got to fight for you what you believe in, if it's something you feel that you have your heart and soul in. Regardless of how logical or rational it could be. Realizing that this statement is already rationalizing makes it a tad bit ironic, dontcha think?

The bottom line is that, sometimes what's worse than doing something "counter logical" is the fact that is not very logical to leave some important facets of your life undefined by action when you could have regardless of the outcome. The means of an end, juxtaposed  to the ends of mean is not always a clear comparison for many.In other words, the few important advices people close to me have given me, "Do the best you can given the circumstances you are in" has gained some new perspective.

Perhaps this is why the 600 men marched into the valley of death : The Charge of the Light Brigade